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Prologue


Rain lashed the ground brutally, filling holes in the ground of a dark lush green forest. Lightning flashed, with a threatining to hit the ground after being followed by thunder, which gave a humongous tremble on the ground. The trees were henrendously large as well, growing over to eighty-five feet in length. The sound of hooves echoed through the forest, breaking the somewhat loud silence.

Mud flew from side to side as a horse stomped its way through a large open field in the middle of the forest, with two other horses close by. The riders of the two rrailing horses were covered in black cloaks and hoods. They both pulled back a strange looking bow and arched their arrows perfectly straight at the rider at the front.

The rider at the front, wore a hooded cloak, with the hood attached and the rest of the cloak flapping behind hi. He turned around quickly and pushed his palm foward, which began to glow blue. Lightning flashed in the sky once more then a blue energy shot out of his hand in a ball form and hit one of the riders down, causing him to fall off the horse. A chain reaction had now started, the fall of the rider had caused his horse to be spooked, the horse thrashed around violently hitting the other horse in its fright. The rider fell of of his horse as well, hitting his head on the ground knocking himself out.

The rider from the front sped foward on his horse and re-entered the thick forest from the other side of the field. He saw a cliff up ahead, so he left his horse in order to climb it.

Back where the other riders were ahead, they made a signla fire in the other side of the forest. The trees were so thick rain couldnt get through, but the smoke managed to squeeze its way out. As the signal had reached its destination several more cloaked riders chased in the direction of the escaped apparent enemy. They all reached the cliff, and left their horses and began to climb. They're were about seven of them, as they reached the top their was a strange humming sound. The first one to reach the edge yelled out to the others. "He knows alchemy!"

The escaped person was kneeling down on the ground with a makeshift rainhouse over him, and a large star drawn on the ground beneath his feet. It began to glow, and the cliff suddenly crumbled, making all the cloaked people fall to their doom.

Suddenly the alchemy was reversed and the cliff undid it's destruction. The escapee stodd up and turned around to find a man standing behind him. He had long blue hair, and wore white armor, with a double edged sword strapped to his waist. He had a red tatto under his left eye. A Red cape blew behind him with the wind, and his eyes glowed a strange light blue. "You shall go no further..." he said in a peaceful tone.

He drew his sword, and stood in a rapier pose.

"Hmph..you havent caught me yet, nor will you ever..." With a quick flick of his wrist, flames shot out of the ground causing the man in white armor to jump back. He looked pass the fire to see the man escape.

"It seems...that you stil havent yet to make your choice on what you will do with your life..." He walked over to the cliff and looked down at the hanging cloaked men. "You all have failed me again, you shall be punished later. You have costed me my power yet again. Get up we must leave."

With a swing of his cloak he dissapeared. The men had begun to converse with one another. "Do you think he actually needs the power?" one of them asked rather curiously. Another one of them spoke up. "Yea he does, he plans to be the most powerful man in the world..."
Very good so far. An excellent Prologue. Great use of descriptive adjectives. 100%
Chapter 1: The Found Treasure

Reysha wiped her brow as it dripped with salty tasting sweat. The hot sun poured its burning rays upon her, expanding upon the large Earth almost infinitely. The land was pure, clean, and was used as farmland. Reysha was helping out her father get food for dinner that very night. She also had to set up the raccoon traps, and fix the fence so other animals couldn’t get in. She sighed, and let her long brown hair loose out of its bun. It reached about halfway down her back. Taking off her hat and letting it fall to the ground she revealed more of her features, revealing light green eyes, and slightly tanned skin. She was nicely figured, for a seventeen year old girl. Picking up the fruit and vegetables basket, she plucked more fruit, and ungrounded more vegetables. "Boy it sure is hot today...and what’s this strange feeling I'm getting..?"

Though it was really quiet except for the birds and bees, she had this strange feeling like something was going to happen. There was also this strange loud whisper she kept hearing. She thought she was losing her mind at first cause of the heat. But then she heard it in her house as well. It was as if someone we're calling her...or something...she shook her head at the weird thought.

With her quick break over she picked up the fruit basket and began to work again, picking up fruit to take back to the house. As she bent over, their was a rumbling in the ground. She jumped up and looked around. "W-what was that!?" Her feet slipped out form underneath her. And soon the rumbling stopped. Reysha got up and placed her hand on her back, due to the pain of the fall. Everything was still, and there was a large patch of grass, and vegetables destroyed up ahead. Smoke seemed to be rising out of the ground. "Hmm...."

Pushing the corn, away, and dropping the fruit basket she hurried over to the smoke. Seeing a large opening up ahead, she parted the corn once more and gasped. A large crater stood in the middle of the field, as she peered over it's edge, she saw a glowing red light, and walked towards it. As she approached, Reysha heard the voice whispering in her head once more, it was louder than ever. "Could it be you...that was calling me?" She reached her hand towards the glowing object then grasped it. It was form, all of a sudden it flickered and its form began to change. With a gasp she closed her eyes as a bright light flooded her vision. Within a few moments the light vanished and she held a large bow. Reysha ran her fingers along it. "It’s...beautiful..." It was a bright red, decorated with embedded roses along its side. "Could it be magic..? Maybe I shouldn’t touch this..." But her mind went against her words. She had learned from her father that magic could be very dangerous. It was the reason why they lived away from all of the other villages, so they could stay safe. But this bow felt different, it felt warm...somewhat right to hold. "Hm." She grasped it firmly and ran back to the house picking up the fruit basket along the way, keeping the bow behind her.

As she approached her house, she saw her father with a shovel digging a hole. He was in his forties, and had gone bald over the years. He wore a yellow straw hat, and had his shirt slung over his should, and his blue jeans rolled up. "Reysha! Did you bring the fruit?" Without even a response she dropped the fruit basket in front of him, and ran into the house. Tipping his hat the farmer sighed to himself. "That girl sure has been acting pretty strangely lately...."


Though short on breath she forced herself up the stairs and to her room. She plopped onto the bed, and held the bow in front of her. If her father found out about the bow he would discard. "Hmm..." A thought struck her as she had thought for a few moments. "I'll take it to Ivan!" Ivan was a sorcerer in the main town Gonsolait near by. The town was always busy due to the fact it was on a crossroad for travelers. Ivan might be able to tell her, if the bow was dangerous or not, and maybe if she was lucky it would be of great value. Her father Doren would be upset with her if he found out she hid something from him, especially if it was something of magic. "I'll have to sneak out...." with that decided she grabbed her bag and changed into her traveling clothes. Grabbing her pack she placed the bow around her and climbed out of the window and slid down the ladder like design on the side of her house. "I'm going into the village dad!" she yelled out on the other side of the house. Before her father had the time to see her off, she had run in the opposite direction straight to the village.



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Hope Ray castle stood at the end of Gonsolait, two knights stood at every corner of the castle guarding it with stiff justice. Above was a lined wall for more knights to stand guard, ready to attack from above in case anything was to ever happen. The door to the castle dropped down, and a red haired teen walked out. He wore light blue armor, and his eyes brightened his completion with a dark sapphire blue. He sighed to himself and pulled his weapon cart into the town. On the side of his cart his name was scratched in enough for people to see. It read Jaido. As he walked into the town he stopped to take a good look at Gonsolait's towns people. They were bustling about quickly selling and trading what ever they could. He dragged his cart to an empty spot and dropped the off to reveal a small shop. Opening the side door he walked behind the counter sat there waiting for customers to come by. "I have this strange feeling...like something is supposed to happen..." he said to himself. With a shrug, he looked over to a crowd who circled around two men sparring. He tried to get a better look, but more people came and blocked his sight. "I wonder what’s going...?" he suddenly heard a blood hurtling scream and jumped. The crowd parted as a man dashed out of the circle towards the deserted area of the village. Jaido grabbed his halberd and ran into the middle of the circle to find a man lying on his back in a pool of blood. "What happened!?" Jaido yelled out to him holding his head. "W-we...were sparring...he cheated and pulled out a real sword...he took...all my money...and ran..." Jaido slammed his fist on the ground. "That’s the seventh time this month! Its about time we catch this guy!" He grabbed his halberd, a long pole with a blade resembling an axe's at the end. Robberies, and murder have been occurring all this month in Gonsolait town. So far the king hasn’t had any leads on who’s behind them, now he had a fresh trail to follow. He pursued the assailant.

"Get back here! I order you to stop!" who was he kidding, he heard the higher knights say that line, but who was he kidding he was no high knight just a regular weapons seller. As he chased after him, there was a rumbling in the ground, and he fell. It was so violent everything shook; things fell off of peoples' carts, out of windows and window sills. People fell down. He got up quickly. "What the hell was that?" looking around quickly he found the assailant turning a corner, and forgot about the tremor and chased after him. As he inched closer he threw himself forward and tackled him to the ground, they rolled for a few seconds and suddenly the ground seemed to disappear from underneath them. He gasped, as they fell a few feet, and hit the ground with a loud thud. Jaido got up quickly and held his halberd to the assailant's head, but the enemy was knocked out. Something caught the corner of his eye, and he turned to the side to find a glowing blue ball. It felt warm, and suddenly he heard a whisper in his head. "Is that thing...talking to me...?" he inched closer to it cautiously reaching his hand forward, he grasped it, and everything seemed to feel warm. He held it close. "What...is this..?" Jaido didn’t notice the assailant's recovery, as the enemy loomed behind him with a large sword.
Really good and he is right nice use of adjectives
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